Only Doubt
by x-Wabisuke-x
Summary: Renji X Rukia --- As is widely known by Bleach readers/watchers everywhere, -cough- Renji has a huge crush on Rukia. But Ichigo is just so damn cool, there's no way Renji has a chance. Of jealousy, acceptance, and surprise.


**Note- This story doesn't fall in line with any occurrences in Bleach. It seems to at the beginning, but that's simply to establish a time, place, and setting. Things that happen here contradict what happens in the actual story and I am fully aware of that. Bare with me though, this is a silly romance after all. But I still wanted it to be set in their 'situation.'**

Renji stood at the corner of the building frowning as he watched Ichigo in bankai, clanging swords with that blue-haired Arrancar.

"Ichigo looks so cool in his bankai!"

That's what she'd said to him so casually the other day, having no idea just how deeply his blood boiled upon hearing it. He didn't know what the big deal was, the only difference between Ichigo's shikai and bankai was that his kimono was tighter than a Shinigami's tended to be, and it was ragged, and…

Who was he kidding? Ichigo did look amazing in his bankai. And it wasn't just physical characters either, it was the way his expressions would change. Naturally, when Ichigo released his bankai it meant he was serious, and those serious faces were what topped it all off. Renji on the other hand had been told by numerous people including Rukia that he made strange, even funny faces while fighting.

He gritted his teeth and had to look away from the orange-haired prodigy. It wasn't that he didn't understand what was so great about Ichigo, the speed his power increased bordered on miraculous and his reasons for fighting were not only acceptable, but admirable, but… what the hell was so great about Ichigo!

He scowled and turned his eyes back to the scene, suddenly realizing that Ichigo wasn't doing so hot. On reflex he almost sprang into action, but a moment later he watched Ichigo raise a hand to his face, and then appeared the mask. Renji loosened his muscles again and continued to watch.

"What are you doing just standing around up here?" The familiar confrontation voice, though like a kitten confronting a tiger, came from behind him.

"Rukia?" Renji looked back, a bit surprised. "Sorry, I don't think he'd want me to interfere, and there doesn't seem to be much else to do but watch the fight."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Rukia walked up, stood next to him and crossed her arms over her chest.

Renji snickered. "How do you like that mask? Creepy, huh?"

Rukia just stared as Ichigo fought, she could hear the odd sounds that seemed to be warped yells as Ichigo attacked. "I can't help it reminding me of a hollow." She looked down. "It does kind of give me a chill to see him like that."

Renji frowned. "But underneath it's still Ichigo, right?"

Rukia gave a short laugh, then looked up at the fight in front of her and smiled her warm smile. "Yeah, that's true."

Renji snorted and looked away from her, cursing himself repeatedly in his head. Why did he always end up making Ichigo look better, and drawing attention away from himself? It seemed like every time he opened his mouth he ended up saying something that wouldn't work to his advantage at all. Still, the answer was quite simple.

He couldn't even begin to compete with Ichigo.

----

Ichigo ended up getting the hell beat out of him before the Arrancar ran away with a friend. As wasn't unusual, he was covered in blood and bruises, especially visible on his face, gushing out of a blow to his head and running down over his eyes. Like always, he'd just get a ton of sympathy and the whole world would rush in to heal and praise him.

Renji snorted to himself, standing to the side as the group that consisted of himself, Sado, Orihime, Rukia, and the fucked up Ichigo hanging on Sado's arm made their way to the Urahara Shop. He kept glancing to Rukia, unable to help wondering if she was the type who liked guys covered in blood.

He groaned at his own thoughts and started walking faster, and faster until he was far ahead of the group. Not unsurprisingly, Ichigo was the one who spoke up despite not even being able to hold himself on two feet.

"Renji? What's up?" He shouted in that oh-so-innocent-I-did-not-just-survive-a-fight-with-the-sixth-espada voice of his. _Damn him, why does he have to be so… ugh!_

Renji glanced back halfway. "I'm going ahead to tell Urahara we're on our way." He said, and then sped his pace to escape before anyone said anything about cell phones.

When Renji arrived at the shop he simply told Urahara the situation in his most distant voice and then left the shop again. Well, he didn't exactly leave, he just got up on the far side of the roof where he couldn't be seen. He'd come down a little while after the rest arrived, right now he had to think.

------

"Abarai-kun's acting weird, isn't he?" Orihime said just after Renji took off. "Almost a little cold. I don't know him that well but maybe there's something wrong."

"Maybe." Rukia said. "But we've all got something bothering us right now, right?" She said thoughtfully. "Still…"

Ichigo stayed quiet, glaring straight ahead where Renji had been walking before he'd taken off. Like Orihime he was sure that something was wrong, it wasn't hard to tell just by the change in expression, that distant look. It probably shouldn't have concerned him despite all the other shit (vaizard, arrancar) that was going on with him, but acting like this was uncommon for Renji.

When the four of them arrived at the shop Ichigo wasn't really surprised when Urahara told them that Renji had left. Rukia seemed to be on the same page he was just by her expression upon hearing it, Sado said nothing, as usual, and Orihime gasped.

"So there is something wrong." She said sadly.

"Orihime." She looked up as Urahara addressed her. "Sado." He continued. "Please take Ichigo into the next room and heal him." His voice wasn't as cheery as usual, but the pair just nodded, and Sado started to bring Ichigo away, Orihime following.

"Now, what else is it?" Urahara's attention turned to Rukia. "There must be some other reason you came here."

"Eh, well… no." Rukia said, and scratched her head. "It's just that this was the closest place and…"

"I see, I see." Urahara cut her off, waving his fan like he would a hand to wave her off. "Abarai is on the roof." He said off-handedly.

Rukia flinched, surprised at herself for not realizing it sooner. True, she could definitely sense him near by.

"Rukia!" Ichigo's voice came from the next room. Rukia looked over, then back at Urahara.

"Excuse me." She said, bowed, and then went to wear Ichigo had called her from. He was lying on the ground and Orihime was kneeled next to him, Sado standing on the opposite side. The healing process hadn't begun yet, however.

"Sado, Inoue." Ichigo said. "Could you give us a minute?"

"But Kurosaki-kun, you-"

"It's all right." He cut Orihime off. "I'll survive a few more minutes." He said, smiling a little. Orihime looked concerned, but nodded, stood, and moved to leave. Sado nodded as well and followed her out.

"What is it, Ichigo?" Rukia asked.

There was a long pause, which Ichigo spent just staring at the ceiling before he spoke. "About before when I was…"

"Depressed?" Rukia offered.

Ichigo scoffed, but nodded. "Yeah. Well, you helped with that. You're good at that kind of thing, right?" He turned his head to her. "Renji's been acting kind of weird for the past few days."

"I understand." Rukia said, then sighed. "I don't know about him, though…" she trailed off.

"Who does?" Ichigo gave her a humorous, but soft smile, and she returned it with a sad one.

"Ichigo…" She began, but then quickly stopped herself.

"What is it?" He asked in that clueless voice of his.

She chuckled a little and scratched the back of her neck to laugh it off. "Ah, nothing. See you around." With that she left.

"…Around?"

Orihime entered the room next and without a word, kneeled down beside Ichigo to heal him.

-----

Renji couldn't help liking Ichigo despite the level of competition he created. No matter which way he sliced it, Ichigo was a good guy. Never out loud, but he might even go as far as to say they were friends, and plenty of people said they were alike in some ways. But that was the biggest problem of all, he couldn't even hate Ichigo for getting in the way.

"Damn it." He kicked the slanted edge of the roof with his heal and buried his forehead in his knees, rolling it around and pressing it down hard until it hurt.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rukia's voice chimed out and he looked up suddenly. Slowly, he looked back to her to see her standing there in that big sister's attempt to be intimidating stance, arms crossed. Small as she was, it kind of worked and he blushed, embarrassed, and looked away.

There was a long silence, during which all Renji heard was footsteps, and then the sound of someone sitting down beside him.

"Hey, Renji." Rukia began. "Something's wrong, right?"

Renji's face paled and he tensed up, which he knew only worked to give him away but it wasn't like he could stop himself. He had an overactive poker face.

"Mind telling me what it is? After all this whole Arrancar situation is hard to deal with when people are holding stuff back."

Renji sighed to himself, and put his chin in between his knees this time, eyes pointed away from Rukia. She thought it was something to do with shinigami work, as expected. But that made sense. He should have had his mind focused on that as well but instead he couldn't stop childishly thinking about his feelings for the half-pint sitting next to him.

"It doesn't matter." He answered. "It's nothing important. At a time like this I shouldn't even be letting it bother me, so I'll just get over it." He said.

All of the sudden he was kicked in the head. "Not important?" Rukia barked at him. "Then quit acting so emo and making everyone worry!"

"What the hell! Didn't I just say that's what I was going to do!" He snapped back, and then rubbed the sore spot on his head.

"That's true." Rukia said and then put her hand underneath her chin thoughtfully. "Still, I want to know what it is."

"What?" Renji scoffed, his face turning a little redder. "No, there's no point."

In an instant Rukia had somehow gotten down on her hands and knees and now had her face right up close to his, squinting. "Renji." She said, and leaned in closer as he leaned away, wide-eyed. Then she smirked a little bit "I have it!" She stood up proudly and pointed a finger in his face.

"You have a secret crush!" She announced.

Renji's jaw dropped. _Damn it, how could she get it spot on and be all casual like that! _

"What?" He said, waving an arm in outrage. "That's just stupid, I-"

Rukia got up in his face again and cut him off. "You said it was something stupid."

"I said it wasn't important." He retorted, giving her a tough face.

"Right." Rukia stood up straight again and crossed her arms. "Who could it be though? Rangiku? Yoruichi? Hinamori-"

"Shut up! Don't just start naming people!" Renji shouted.

Rukia gasped. "So it is a crush!" She pointed a finger in his face. "I knew it!" At this point Renji wished he were Nova so he could just zip himself shut.

Rukia started to look thoughtful again. "But who says it has to be a Shinigami?" Renji sighed from there, and just looked away from her. It wasn't like she was going to guess, and even if she did there was no way he'd tell her she was right. "On top of that…" Rukia continued. "Who says it's even a girl?"

Renji gagged at that and shot up from his seat. "That hell? What are you saying?"

Rukia did what Renji could only describe as an evil giggle and continued. "Well, Nii-sama does keep his hair really nice, and Ikkaku's not so bad if you're into that-" that in quotation marks "-kind of thing, Yumichika is beautiful and Ichigo's cool on a number of levels." She said, grinning. All Renji could do was stand there gawking throughout her speech until the end.

"Ha!" He said. "It sounds like YOU have a crush on him!" He crossed his arms, shut his eyes, pleased with himself, and grinned victoriously. He was expecting some kind of quick retort but he heard nothing. When he opened his eyes Rukia was sitting down, cross-legged at his feet, looking off at nothing.

"Yeah." She said. "I think you're probably right." Her voice sounded sad.

Renji stood there completely frozen, eyes wide in surprise. A breeze blew by and his tied hair shifted with it, while Rukia's blew freely in front of her face. She made no attempt to push it back. Slowly, Renji looked down at her back, his expression likely similar to and just as sad as hers. He'd always suspected it of course, but now it had been confirmed.

Still, that didn't matter at this point. He finally found a way he could be of help to her and he'd be damned if he was just going to walk away from it. Besides, he couldn't let his own emotions get in the way of the direction her life went. From here on out, now that he knew full well who his best friend was interested in, he had to put his own feelings behind him to avoid getting in the way.

Slowly, Renji sat down beside her. "Have you told him?" He asked softly. Rukia looked up at him, surprised. "If you want, I can do it for you, even though that'd be kind of weird." He said.

"No, that's okay." Rukia said, smiling sadly. "If I do it I have to do it myself." She insisted.

There was a long, though comfortable silence between them as the wind continued to blow. The sun was just starting to set, the top of the sky was getting dark.

"Anyway, now that I told you mine you have to tell me yours." Rukia said out of nowhere, sounding strangely cheery compared to the earlier mood.

"What? I never made that deal!" Renji shouted.

"Hey, you two." A familiar voice came from the ground below and they both looked to see a black blob with yellow eyes staring up at them. "Are you going to stay up there all night?"

"Yoruichi!" Renji shouted back and then hopped down from the roof, followed closely by Rukia.

"Urahara invited you all to sleep here. Ichigo will be after all." The black cat said.

"I do that every night anyway." Renji said, shrugging.

"That's why I was talking to Rukia." Yoruichi snickered, and then walked back into the store, hopping up the porch before disappearing inside. Renji scowled, just a little embarrassed.

"Come on, Rukia." Renji waved to her to follow him inside. She hesitated, but did so.

Sado and Orihime said their good-byes and left for their own homes not long after. By nightfall Renji and Rukia were both sitting on the floor of Ichigo's room. Rneji was leaning against a wall in the corner, and Rukia kneeled close to Ichigo. Renji couldn't take his eyes off the pair, now that he knew what she felt he was so jealous that he didn't want them to ever come in contact with each other again.

"Inoue's getting good at that." Ichigo said. "I feel almost good as new already."

"Idiot." Rukia snickered. "You'd feel good as new with two legs and one arm, regardless of the state the rest of you is in."

"Even if he lost his head?" Renji chimed in lamely.

"Shut up, both of you!" Ichigo barked before Rukia could open her mouth again. There was a pause and then Rukia yawned.

"Well, I'm going to go to sleep." She stood up. "Night Renji,-" Renji could have done a victory dance having heard her say his name first "-Ichigo."

"G'night, Rukia." Ichigo said casually.

"Yeah, night." Renji added quickly, just before she left. For a short time Renji just listened to her footsteps outside the door before they disappeared.

"Hey, Renji." Ichigo said, bending his head back to look at the red-head in the corner. "What's up with you?" He asked.

Renji put on an annoyed grin as his eye twitched and his face started to heat up. Damn it, had he really been that obvious?

"Nothing." He replied. "I'm fine now." He figured that would satisfy Ichigo.

"Yeah, right." Ichigo snorted, obviously not believing him, but he didn't press.

"Hey, Ichigo." Renji began. "How do you feel about… Rukia?" He asked in his best attempt to be casual. It couldn't hurt to ask, right?

"Feel about her?" Ichigo bent his head back again. "In what way?"

"In whatever way." Renji snapped, annoyed at how stupid Ichigo could be when it came to these things.

"Well, I'm grateful to her. She saved me, and gave me these powers." He lifted a hand and looked at it. "And for a lot of other reasons too, plus we're friends, so…" he trailed off. "But I don't have any weird feelings for her if that's what you mean."

_Weird. _Renji snickered at the word. _He says it's weird._

"All right, well…" Renji stood up. "…I think I'll go to bed to."

"Huh?" Ichigo looked up at him. "All right. Night, then." He said.

"Yeah, G'night." Renji walked out of the room and pushed the sliding door shut behind him. Once out he cursed to himself and walked across the dark area to wear he would sleep.

--------

The next day was uneventful compared to the last. As expected, Ichigo was up and walking around even though he was otherwise advised. No one bothered to go to school that day either, probably just because Ichigo didn't.

The others were out doing who knows what while Renji was stuck inside doing Urahara's housework. He was currently hard at work with shelf-dusting, knowing that Tessai would notice if there was even a spec of dust left behind even underneath the items.

"Hey Renji." To his surprise, Rukia showed up near the store's entrance.

"Rukia!" His eyes widened, just a little surprised, after all he had been thinking about this very person before she just popped in out of nowhere.

"Can I talk to you?" Renji walked up beside him, and Renji paused his work.

"Yeah, sure." He shrugged. "Is it about Ichigo?"

"Idiot." She scoffed. "You have no delicacy."

"Sorry." Renji shrugged. "So what's up?"

"About… your offer to tell him…"

Renji tensed up. Despite having made the suggestion in the first place he honestly dreaded the idea of telling his competition that his love interest had interest in him.

"You want me to?" Renji asked carefully.

"No. But I was thinking… maybe I should." She said, a little awkwardly. "I mean, he doesn't have a girlfriend or anything, so what could it hurt? Ichigo's not the type to avoid someone because of that. And there's always the chance…"

Renji had to cringe at her mention of a chance, remembering what Ichigo had said the night before. Damn that guy for being so insensitive. That was the biggest problem with him.

"I think it wouldn't hurt." Renji said, holding back. "You sure you can do it?"

"I'm not that weak, Renji." Rukia scoffed. "I can tell Ichigo how I feel." She said strongly, though as if trying to convince both he and herself. Just looking at her as she said these things made Renji's blood boil toward Ichigo. How could he not have feelings for her, or just blow the idea of it off so easily? Being someone who was infatuated with her he hated the idea that Ichigo wasn't going to embrace what Renji had wanted for so fucked long. It pissed him off.

"Then…" Renji pasued. "…you should." He nodded. "After all, even if he doesn't feel the same way, Ichigo considers you a close friend. It won't break anything you already have." He said, trying to be as encouraging as he could given his situation.

"I guess you're right." Rukia nodded. "I will, then." She said, still sounding nervous.

Renji smirked a little. "Should I give you a time limit?"

Rukia snickered and looked up at him. "Fine."

"All right, you have to tell him by tomorrow night."

"You're on."

**End note- I'm surprised at myself, as my first story posted was not a yaoi but a clean, het sort of thing. The next part will get a bit more steamy, but nothing that I think would break the T rating, except perhaps Renji's one perverted kneee… but we'll see.**

**Anyway, IchigoXKenpachi is actually my favorite pairing for Bleach, but I couldn't resist this one after looking a little too closely at Renji sitting next to Rukia on Ichigo's bed. Plus I've always loved the idea that Renji has a thing for her 3.**

**Anyway, part 2 shouldn't be long, and should be a bit shorter than this. This is a short story, after all.**


End file.
